Mother Teresa was born in Albania in 1910. She spent years of her live as a Catholic nun dedicated to humanitarian work for the poor, sick, dying and the orphaned carrying out numerous missions the world over for hospices and homes for people with HIV, leprosy, tuberculosis and much more. She is not with the lord she loved so much but she behind many wonderful words we can and should all learn from.
I ran across a quote by Mother Teresa that is very fitting, profound and worthy of mentioning especially in our society today where we seem to be obsessed with what we can gain and profit rather than what we can give to others without anything in return. If everyone on earth took these words to heart and practiced them as much as they could, we’d be living in a very different world today.
Do It Anyway
People are often unreasonable, irrational and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.
---Mother Teresa
These words are tacked up on my office wall so I may reread them everyday,letting the meaning truly sink in to my soul.
If you have trouble with anger, resentment, wanting revenge for past wrongdoings or difficulty making decisions in a precarious situation, remember these words my Mother Teresa—they may just help you become a better person.
Don’t think posting this quote on the wall can help you? Do It Anyway. And see what happens.
.....Robyn Wheeler is the author of Born Mad, an in-depth view of her struggle with chronic anger, frustration and thoughts of suicide and her eventual diagnosis of Dysthymia.
Born Mad, a book by Robyn Wheeler, is a true story about living for 40 years with an undiagnosed form of depression known as Dysthymic Disorder. Symptoms of dysthyia include chronic anger, frustration, anxiety, poor concentration, making a mountain out of a mole hill and low self-esteem. Dysthymia is rarely-talked about yet affects a greater percentage of the population than bipolar and schizophrenia combined.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
The Eulogy
I walked away from the podium feeling proud. I was a bit tearful and sad but still happy that I had accomplished m goal – to deliver a eulogy without being an emotional mess. I didn’t do it alone. God supported and guided me throughout the entire process. All those years of saying affirmations, loving myself no matter what and knowing I have the ability to do anything I set my mind too, had all paid off.
When I sat back down in the pew next to my mother she took my hand and said” you did a really great job, that was very nice”. I received more compliments from the guests and even my husband said he got a tear in his eye at the end.
I had a few doubts the night before the services as I broke down at the funeral home during the viewing. All our friends and relatives stopped by to give the condolences, a video of my grandmother’s life from birth to her last year was playing. She looked so pretty and peaceful, even at 100 years old, despite her 5 days of suffering from a severe intestinal infection. My mother and husband stood around me offering support and a shoulder to cry on. The next morning, I wondered if I was strong enough to deliver a speech in front of several dozen people? Can I give the eulogy without crying in front of all my grandmother’s family and friends?
I had offered to give the eulogy about a year before when my mother and I were discussing her health and what to do in the event of her death. I had never given a eulogy before and heard from others how horrifying, and difficult it was to get through without being overly emotional. I have seen many others attempt a eulogy only to bow out before the end or sob so badly that no one could make out what the person was saying. I didn’t want to be that person. I wanted to deliver a good eulogy. An upbeat, life goes on for everyone, the deceased is in a better place eulogy. And I wanted to do it without breaking down and turning into mush.
When I woke up the morning of the services, I put on a pretty, yellow flowery dress (my grandmother specifically requested that no one wear black or brown, she wanted colors, lots of colors) and repeated to myself the following: I can do anything in Christ who gives me strength. The second I started thinking of something else like what was on TV that nigh or the tasks I needed to do the next day, I immediately began repeating that affirmation over and over again. I also repeated: I can do it, it will be easyf. During the services I still repeated my affirmations especially during the hymns which I didn’t know the words too and found the slow, melancholy music to be a “downer”. Finally it was time. The pastor called me up to the podium. I had most of the entire eulogy memorized as I do my spiels for my shows as The Creature Teacher. It would be easier if I could recite it by heart and it would feel more like a show speech than a eulogy. Once I stared to speak I knew I had to pull it off for my grandmother and my family. I told the stories and jokes I was supposed to tell and occasionally glanced into the audience looking at familiar faces. Tears started to roll down my cheeks during the last two paragraphs but I was still calm and understandable. I walked away from the podium feeling proud.
If you are wondering if you could ever deliver a eulogy, I’m here to tell you: You can do it. Trust in yourself and Gods guidance and reaffirm to yourself that you are a divine being capable of anything you put your mind too. Don’t believe you can do it, know you can do it.
.....Robyn Wheeler is the author of Born Mad, an in-depth view of her struggle with chronic anger, frustration and thoughts of suicide and her eventual diagnosis of Dysthymia.
When I sat back down in the pew next to my mother she took my hand and said” you did a really great job, that was very nice”. I received more compliments from the guests and even my husband said he got a tear in his eye at the end.
I had a few doubts the night before the services as I broke down at the funeral home during the viewing. All our friends and relatives stopped by to give the condolences, a video of my grandmother’s life from birth to her last year was playing. She looked so pretty and peaceful, even at 100 years old, despite her 5 days of suffering from a severe intestinal infection. My mother and husband stood around me offering support and a shoulder to cry on. The next morning, I wondered if I was strong enough to deliver a speech in front of several dozen people? Can I give the eulogy without crying in front of all my grandmother’s family and friends?
I had offered to give the eulogy about a year before when my mother and I were discussing her health and what to do in the event of her death. I had never given a eulogy before and heard from others how horrifying, and difficult it was to get through without being overly emotional. I have seen many others attempt a eulogy only to bow out before the end or sob so badly that no one could make out what the person was saying. I didn’t want to be that person. I wanted to deliver a good eulogy. An upbeat, life goes on for everyone, the deceased is in a better place eulogy. And I wanted to do it without breaking down and turning into mush.
When I woke up the morning of the services, I put on a pretty, yellow flowery dress (my grandmother specifically requested that no one wear black or brown, she wanted colors, lots of colors) and repeated to myself the following: I can do anything in Christ who gives me strength. The second I started thinking of something else like what was on TV that nigh or the tasks I needed to do the next day, I immediately began repeating that affirmation over and over again. I also repeated: I can do it, it will be easyf. During the services I still repeated my affirmations especially during the hymns which I didn’t know the words too and found the slow, melancholy music to be a “downer”. Finally it was time. The pastor called me up to the podium. I had most of the entire eulogy memorized as I do my spiels for my shows as The Creature Teacher. It would be easier if I could recite it by heart and it would feel more like a show speech than a eulogy. Once I stared to speak I knew I had to pull it off for my grandmother and my family. I told the stories and jokes I was supposed to tell and occasionally glanced into the audience looking at familiar faces. Tears started to roll down my cheeks during the last two paragraphs but I was still calm and understandable. I walked away from the podium feeling proud.
If you are wondering if you could ever deliver a eulogy, I’m here to tell you: You can do it. Trust in yourself and Gods guidance and reaffirm to yourself that you are a divine being capable of anything you put your mind too. Don’t believe you can do it, know you can do it.
.....Robyn Wheeler is the author of Born Mad, an in-depth view of her struggle with chronic anger, frustration and thoughts of suicide and her eventual diagnosis of Dysthymia.
Do You Seek Revenge?
We’ve all been “screwed”, “taken” “jipped”. But the question is how do you react when have been lied to, taken advantage of, embarrassed or stolen from? Do you forget and forgive and move on with your life or do you hold grudges? Do you get revenge when the opportunity presents itself? Dr.Wayne dyer says it is easy to love the loveable. The real trick is to love the unlovable. Can you love the unlovable, even someone who has done you wrong?
For example, one of my family members saw one of her friends talking by the side of the road to a neighbor that she dislikes and has disliked for years. When her friend pulled into a parking lot shortly afterwards, she inquired about what they were discussing. The friend said her neighbor ran out of gas and asked for his assistance. He said he would bring the neighbor some gas. My family member told her friend what the neighbor had to done to her and her spouse about 10 years ago. The friend, decided he now wasn’t going to help the neighbor after all and left the neighbor stranded by the side of the road waiting for his return with the much needed fuel.
Is this how you would have reacted to this situation? If so, you’re seeking revenge instead of letting go of the past.
What if the tables been turned? My family member had been stranded at the side of the road needing assistance when someone whom she did wrong 10 years ago brought up the past, talking another person out of providing assistance? My family member would be irate. She’d be hollering about how someone could still hold a grudge for 10 years and why was she being punished for a mistake she made over a decade ago.
What ever happened to “treat others as you would like to be treated”? Or “all for one and one for all”? Are these meaningless words in the 21st century? Do we not put these sentiments into action any more? Do we just remember the mistakes others have made and not remember their contributions, the good stuff, the positive stuff? Is this what society is about today?
If you still remember all the times you’ve been wronged, capable of reciting the stories verbatim, reply every detail including date, time, names, etc., then you are not letting go. You are not forgiving and moving on.
Please help the stranded driver alongside the road even if they are the worst person you’ve ever known. Even if this person isn’t someone you would “tinkle on if they were on fire” as my family used to say when I was a kid. Being nice is better than being mean. If you are nice to the mean person, it demonstrates your character as a person not the character of the person you are helping. Are you the kind of person with integrity and high moral center or are you as mean as the person you are accusing of being mean to you? It is difficult for a person to be mean to someone who is being nice. But it is quite easy to be mean to someone who is being mean to you in the first place.
Can you be the nice person? Can you respond to anger with love? Or do you always respond to anger with anger?
I used to be the person who responded to anger with anger. Now, I’d rather be the person responding with kindness even if someone is angry towards me.
In Born Mad, I wrote about my anger and times that I was mean to others. Please do not get caught up in only thinking about yourself. Take every situation in and of itself, putting history behind you. As Dr. Laura says “Go do the right thing”.
.....Robyn Wheeler is the author of Born Mad, an in-depth view of her struggle with chronic anger, frustration and thoughts of suicide and her eventual diagnosis of Dysthymia.
For example, one of my family members saw one of her friends talking by the side of the road to a neighbor that she dislikes and has disliked for years. When her friend pulled into a parking lot shortly afterwards, she inquired about what they were discussing. The friend said her neighbor ran out of gas and asked for his assistance. He said he would bring the neighbor some gas. My family member told her friend what the neighbor had to done to her and her spouse about 10 years ago. The friend, decided he now wasn’t going to help the neighbor after all and left the neighbor stranded by the side of the road waiting for his return with the much needed fuel.
Is this how you would have reacted to this situation? If so, you’re seeking revenge instead of letting go of the past.
What if the tables been turned? My family member had been stranded at the side of the road needing assistance when someone whom she did wrong 10 years ago brought up the past, talking another person out of providing assistance? My family member would be irate. She’d be hollering about how someone could still hold a grudge for 10 years and why was she being punished for a mistake she made over a decade ago.
What ever happened to “treat others as you would like to be treated”? Or “all for one and one for all”? Are these meaningless words in the 21st century? Do we not put these sentiments into action any more? Do we just remember the mistakes others have made and not remember their contributions, the good stuff, the positive stuff? Is this what society is about today?
If you still remember all the times you’ve been wronged, capable of reciting the stories verbatim, reply every detail including date, time, names, etc., then you are not letting go. You are not forgiving and moving on.
Please help the stranded driver alongside the road even if they are the worst person you’ve ever known. Even if this person isn’t someone you would “tinkle on if they were on fire” as my family used to say when I was a kid. Being nice is better than being mean. If you are nice to the mean person, it demonstrates your character as a person not the character of the person you are helping. Are you the kind of person with integrity and high moral center or are you as mean as the person you are accusing of being mean to you? It is difficult for a person to be mean to someone who is being nice. But it is quite easy to be mean to someone who is being mean to you in the first place.
Can you be the nice person? Can you respond to anger with love? Or do you always respond to anger with anger?
I used to be the person who responded to anger with anger. Now, I’d rather be the person responding with kindness even if someone is angry towards me.
In Born Mad, I wrote about my anger and times that I was mean to others. Please do not get caught up in only thinking about yourself. Take every situation in and of itself, putting history behind you. As Dr. Laura says “Go do the right thing”.
.....Robyn Wheeler is the author of Born Mad, an in-depth view of her struggle with chronic anger, frustration and thoughts of suicide and her eventual diagnosis of Dysthymia.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Are you Likable?
For over 40 years, I lived my life believing I was liked by everyone. I believed I was fun, kind and a good friend, wife, daughter and sister. Despite the fact that many friends told me I had an attitude problem, I didn't believe them; I brushed off their comments even by my own sister. Then I wondered why my sister didn't call very often or tell me about the latest events taking place in her life. After I lost total contact with my sister and a good friend (both in the same year), I looked in the mirror and asked myself if I was like-able. The answer: NO, I don't even like me, so why do I expect others to like me? Many of my bad habits and personality flaws made me an unlikeable person. Here's a partial list of what I didn't like about ME:
I was judgemental and arrogant
I always had to be right
I never admitted to being wrong or making a mistake
I expected others to do everything the same way I do things
I had a sense of entitlement
I had a sense of being better than others
It took years of listening to self-help CD's, reading books on attitude (and how to change it when necessary) but eventually I evolved into who I am today and hope to continue to evolve in the future. Everyday I practice being a better person, more compassionate and understanding of others and realizing everyone on the face of the planet does things differently than I do.
This profound realization to transforming my attitude and riding myself of my arrogance and need to always be right (among other bad traits) has led to our first survey on human behavior. And we need your help. Please log on to www.bornmad.org and answer two questions about the human traits that you dislike and like the most (or least) and we'll post the results on the same page after we've reviewed all of your comments. Have fun and be completely honest about what ticks you off in other people!
I was judgemental and arrogant
I always had to be right
I never admitted to being wrong or making a mistake
I expected others to do everything the same way I do things
I had a sense of entitlement
I had a sense of being better than others
It took years of listening to self-help CD's, reading books on attitude (and how to change it when necessary) but eventually I evolved into who I am today and hope to continue to evolve in the future. Everyday I practice being a better person, more compassionate and understanding of others and realizing everyone on the face of the planet does things differently than I do.
This profound realization to transforming my attitude and riding myself of my arrogance and need to always be right (among other bad traits) has led to our first survey on human behavior. And we need your help. Please log on to www.bornmad.org and answer two questions about the human traits that you dislike and like the most (or least) and we'll post the results on the same page after we've reviewed all of your comments. Have fun and be completely honest about what ticks you off in other people!
Causes of Anger
Dysthymic Disorder is not the only mental/mood disorder or illness that may cause long-term anger. According to www.bettermedicine.com, www.wrongdiagnosis.com and www.wikidpedia.com , here are a few others, including physical and mental disorders and other causes.:
Psychiatric Causes
Borderline Personality Disorder-characterized by unstable relationships
Childhood Depression
Manic Depression or Bipolar
Cyclothymia
Oppositional Defiant Disorder
Severe Depression
Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder
Intermittent explosive disorder-characterized by extreme anger
Organic Personality Syndrome
Schizophrenia
Post-traumatic stress Disorder
ADHD
Autism
Antisocial Personality Disorder-disordered perceptions and interactions with others
Dementia-including Alzheimers and Huntingtons disease
Conduct Disorder-behavior disorder in childhood
Other Diseases or Conditions
Epilepsy
Lead poisoning
Brain Tumors
Head Injury
Smoking Cessation
Alcohol or Drug addiction
Hypoglycemia (low blood sugar)
Meningitis
Tuberous sclerosis (childhood episodes of screaming)
My book Born Mad shares my story of battling Dysthymic Disorder, how it affected my family and my life as well as how effective and non-effective various treatments proved to be.
If you or someone you know has anger issues please seek help from a professional counselor or psychiatrist.
Psychiatric Causes
Borderline Personality Disorder-characterized by unstable relationships
Childhood Depression
Manic Depression or Bipolar
Cyclothymia
Oppositional Defiant Disorder
Severe Depression
Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder
Intermittent explosive disorder-characterized by extreme anger
Organic Personality Syndrome
Schizophrenia
Post-traumatic stress Disorder
ADHD
Autism
Antisocial Personality Disorder-disordered perceptions and interactions with others
Dementia-including Alzheimers and Huntingtons disease
Conduct Disorder-behavior disorder in childhood
Other Diseases or Conditions
Epilepsy
Lead poisoning
Brain Tumors
Head Injury
Smoking Cessation
Alcohol or Drug addiction
Hypoglycemia (low blood sugar)
Meningitis
Tuberous sclerosis (childhood episodes of screaming)
My book Born Mad shares my story of battling Dysthymic Disorder, how it affected my family and my life as well as how effective and non-effective various treatments proved to be.
If you or someone you know has anger issues please seek help from a professional counselor or psychiatrist.
Book Recommendation #1
In Gifts From Eykis, Dr. Wayne Dyer exaggerates many of our human neuroses to the ridiculous. In doing this, Dr. Dyer hits home how "insane" we humans think-forcing you to take a closer look at your everyday thoughts and worries and think twice about validating our feelings of insecurity, blaming others for your current situation and being dishonest.
Eykis is a newscaster of the planet Uranus who delivers the nightly Anxiety-Attack report. Yes, anxiety really does attack the citizens of Uranus because anxiety is microscopic particles that travel in the air and are inhaled as A's, N's and Z's. If Anxiety attacks are not enough, Uranus also has worry-wares (invisable bacteria), blame-busters and dependency diodes. On this absurd planet, all children at the age of three are given Guilt-prodders which will activate the "rewind" so you can do what you should have done in the past and therefore, correct your error or mistake. If you need or want a complex, don't worry, someone can actually give you one.
If you've ever wondered what you would be like if you weren't nuerotic-and let's face it, we're all nuerotic to a certain degree-then, you'll love Gifts from Eykis (HarperCollins Publishers, ISBN#9780062013088) and the story depicted by Dr. Dyer. (www.drwaynedyer.com)
.....Robyn Wheeler is the author of Born Mad, an in-depth view of her struggle with chronic anger, frustration and thoughts of suicide and her eventual diagnosis of Dysthymia.
Eykis is a newscaster of the planet Uranus who delivers the nightly Anxiety-Attack report. Yes, anxiety really does attack the citizens of Uranus because anxiety is microscopic particles that travel in the air and are inhaled as A's, N's and Z's. If Anxiety attacks are not enough, Uranus also has worry-wares (invisable bacteria), blame-busters and dependency diodes. On this absurd planet, all children at the age of three are given Guilt-prodders which will activate the "rewind" so you can do what you should have done in the past and therefore, correct your error or mistake. If you need or want a complex, don't worry, someone can actually give you one.
If you've ever wondered what you would be like if you weren't nuerotic-and let's face it, we're all nuerotic to a certain degree-then, you'll love Gifts from Eykis (HarperCollins Publishers, ISBN#9780062013088) and the story depicted by Dr. Dyer. (www.drwaynedyer.com)
.....Robyn Wheeler is the author of Born Mad, an in-depth view of her struggle with chronic anger, frustration and thoughts of suicide and her eventual diagnosis of Dysthymia.
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