The Eulogy

I walked away from the podium feeling proud. I was a bit tearful and sad but still happy that I had accomplished m goal – to deliver a eulogy without being an emotional mess. I didn’t do it alone. God supported and guided me throughout the entire process. All those years of saying affirmations, loving myself no matter what and knowing I have the ability to do anything I set my mind too, had all paid off.


When I sat back down in the pew next to my mother she took my hand and said” you did a really great job, that was very nice”. I received more compliments from the guests and even my husband said he got a tear in his eye at the end.

I had a few doubts the night before the services as I broke down at the funeral home during the viewing. All our friends and relatives stopped by to give the condolences, a video of my grandmother’s life from birth to her last year was playing. She looked so pretty and peaceful, even at 100 years old, despite her 5 days of suffering from a severe intestinal infection. My mother and husband stood around me offering support and a shoulder to cry on. The next morning, I wondered if I was strong enough to deliver a speech in front of several dozen people? Can I give the eulogy without crying in front of all my grandmother’s family and friends?

I had offered to give the eulogy about a year before when my mother and I were discussing her health and what to do in the event of her death. I had never given a eulogy before and heard from others how horrifying, and difficult it was to get through without being overly emotional. I have seen many others attempt a eulogy only to bow out before the end or sob so badly that no one could make out what the person was saying. I didn’t want to be that person. I wanted to deliver a good eulogy. An upbeat, life goes on for everyone, the deceased is in a better place eulogy. And I wanted to do it without breaking down and turning into mush.

When I woke up the morning of the services, I put on a pretty, yellow flowery dress (my grandmother specifically requested that no one wear black or brown, she wanted colors, lots of colors) and repeated to myself the following: I can do anything in Christ who gives me strength. The second I started thinking of something else like what was on TV that nigh or the tasks I needed to do the next day, I immediately began repeating that affirmation over and over again. I also repeated: I can do it, it will be easyf. During the services I still repeated my affirmations especially during the hymns which I didn’t know the words too and found the slow, melancholy music to be a “downer”. Finally it was time. The pastor called me up to the podium. I had most of the entire eulogy memorized as I do my spiels for my shows as The Creature Teacher. It would be easier if I could recite it by heart and it would feel more like a show speech than a eulogy. Once I stared to speak I knew I had to pull it off for my grandmother and my family. I told the stories and jokes I was supposed to tell and occasionally glanced into the audience looking at familiar faces. Tears started to roll down my cheeks during the last two paragraphs but I was still calm and understandable. I walked away from the podium feeling proud.

If you are wondering if you could ever deliver a eulogy, I’m here to tell you: You can do it. Trust in yourself and Gods guidance and reaffirm to yourself that you are a divine being capable of anything you put your mind too. Don’t believe you can do it, know you can do it.

.....Robyn Wheeler is the author of Born Mad, an in-depth view of her struggle with chronic anger, frustration and thoughts of suicide and her eventual diagnosis of Dysthymia.